Can Dreams Die?

My dad spoke at our church once. He titled his message “When Dreams Die”. I honestly don’t remember much of the content (give me a break, I was probably 13), but I’ve always remembered the concept.

And it always scared me.

Can Dreams Die

Can dreams die? Yeah, they can.

Ever since I was about 6, I wanted to be a writer. Not just a writer, but a novelist. That idea was so captivating. Sure, I explored becoming a firefighter, gymnast, dancer, musician, carpenter, ranch owner, chef, and the First Lady (not much luck there), but I always knew I wanted to write books.

As I grew, it was a source of pride, in a way. Not that I wanted to be a writer, but that I knew what I wanted to be. So many kids didn’t. I already had a plan. I knew where I was headed. Didn’t that make me settled, mature, and well on my way to literary success?

I thought so.

At about my junior year in high school, I hit writers block. Hard. 

I began to doubt myself. Am I really a writer? What if I’m never going to be published? Am I writing the right genre? What if I’m not good enough? You can’t make money writing fiction anyway. There are so many people better than me. Is this where God wants me? What am I going to do with my life? I’m probably going to be broke. Will I have to work at McDonalds? Maybe I’ll just find a nice box and be homeless under a bridge somewhere.

Woah, Erika. Slow down girl. 

Yeah, I tend to over-think things just a bit. But all the same, it was a legitimate cause for concern. I’m on the verge of launching into a career, and I wasn’t sure if I was headed in the right direction.

Last summer, someone approached me about interning for him in communications at our church. I’d been praying about an internship, and it seemed like God had dropped one in my lap! Needless to say, I accepted. From September to May, I learned a lot about communications. In March, I started working for Shining Light Marketing, first as a copywriter and web design assistant, now as the communications manager. The owner of Shining Light Marketing just happens to be the woman I’ve been nannying for over the past 2 years. Coincidence? I think not.

The funny thing is, the more I’m working in and learning about communications, blogging, web design, and branding, the more I could see myself loving this for a long time. I’m able to weave together my love for writing, photography, and people, with threads of design and art. It’s holistic. It’s creative. It’s where God wants me. It makes my heart happy.

My job has become a joy.

The part of my brain that is resistant to change still screams that I’m supposed to be a novelist. Maybe I still will be. But for now, I’m content in allowing my dreams not to die, but to change.

I’m changing too, and I think I like who I’m becoming.

All the best,

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A Walk on the Town

The other night, my lovely friend Rachel and I were walking in downtown. I had my camera with me, and Rachel asked to try her hand.

What resulted, was a lovely, wandering walk, a mini-photography lesson, and a few good pictures.

Here they are.

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All the best,

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A small thought on notebooks.

There is something about the first time writing in a new notebook.

Maybe it’s the scratch of a familiar pen on an unfamiliar page. Maybe it’s the crisp emptiness of a notebook that hasn’t been lived with, loved, and filled with memories yet.

Whatever it is, it’s fleeting and lovely.

Boys will be Boys

The boys I nanny absolutely adore visits from my boyfriend. The two year old has been asking for him to come for months, so it was high time for a visit. Yesterday, Keegan spent the whole day with us. Both boys were thrilled, and I have to admit it was a nice break to be able to fold the laundry undisturbed! (Some of the joys of motherhood have come early to me, apparently.)

While the baby was sleeping and my hands were free, I took a couple pictures of the sweet playtime.

Let me tell you, it doesn’t get better than this.

eDSC_0898There was so much laughter yesterday.

eDSC_0952There were games…

eDSC_0918…like keep-away.

eDSC_0975There were hug attacks…

eDSC_0010…And helping hands…

eDSC_0063…And many, many smiles. 

A good day was had by all, no doubt. Sadly, I didn’t get any pictures of my littlest lovey yesterday! I’ll have to get some 9 month photos soon. He’s growing up so fast!

Until next time,

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Groupthink

Am I the only one bothered by how incredibly common it is to do things you wouldn’t usually do because “everyone else is doing it”? Does it worry you when a guy who normally keeps his tongue in check swears around certain friends? Or when a conservative girl flaunts her body for attention? Have you seen a group of people you respect behave in a way that makes you question their character, or have you struggled with that yourself?

I’ve been there.

Everyone wants to be accepted. Sometimes, standing up for what we believe or cautioning others can sometimes feel like social suicide! It’s like society is playing a sick game of chicken—the first person to say “No” will be rejected and ridiculed. Wet blanket. Scaredy-cat. Prude. Killjoy. Buzz-kill. We’re so quick to use words and phrases like that to tear people down! Maybe they have a valid point, and we react so strongly because we feel guilty.

Maybe you more frequently find yourself on the other side… Maybe you’re the only girl who won’t join in on the gossip, or the only guy who leaves the room when his friends pull out the magazines. Good for you! We need more people like you. People who value their character over their reputation.

I’m trying to be that person. Are you?

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